


Cats

by That-Butler-Fangirling (TheWhitePaladin)



Series: Collaborations - Kuroshitsuji [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M, can't hug every cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 16:40:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2277024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWhitePaladin/pseuds/That-Butler-Fangirling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bard was destroying the kitchen again. Finny was destroying the garden again. Mey-rin was destroying the fine china again. Sebastian was destroying Ciel's patience again. Just a normal day at the Phantomhive manor until Ciel discovers a secret that Sebastian had been trying his best to keep hidden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cats

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, guys!  
> This entire thing was all based on a text conversation I happened to have with my cousin, a fellow Kuroshitsuji die-hard. Every piece of dialogue and every movement was already planned and role-played.  
> We tried our best.
> 
> So, without further ado, I present "Cats."  
> My cousin as: that boy with no tolerance.  
> Myself as: THE most argumentative butler on the face of this planet.
> 
> \---
> 
>  
> 
> This was originally posted on my original name, but I'm moving it to my black butler account. It will be deleted from the other one.

It was a fairly regular day in the Phantomhive manor. Finny was playing with Pluto near the gardens, Mey-rin was unintentionally smashing things, Bard was blowing up the kitchen and Sebastian was currently standing behind Ciel as the boy huffed angrily at the papers on his desk. He put his chin on the desk, looking up to see the mirror on the other side of the room. He noticed Sebastian smirking as he noticed his master staring at him. He looked down at him, laughing gently.

"Sebastian," Ciel began. "I just can't right now."

Sebastian just couldn't help it. "I'm, as they would say, 'smokin' hot,' young master. Admit it." When Ciel didn't respond, Sebastian looked down to him again. "My lord?"

"I'm thinking about work, Sebastian. Sorry...and sure; you are smoking hot," the child replied, rolling his eyes.

"Ah-my apologies, my lord," came the reply. Then, a quiet "I knew it."

"Whatever makes you sleep at night," Ciel said, turning his gaze from the mirror.

"Young master, I am a demon. I have no need for sleep."

"Don't correct me Sebastian," Ciel snarled. He'd had just about enough of everything today.

"I am sorry, young master," his butler said, not really sounding sorry at all. "Please forgive me."

"I'll think about it," came the terse statement.

"I have gone against your orders, sir," Sebastian went on, bowing slightly at the waist. "That makes me a failure as a butler; especially a Phantomhive butler at that."

Ciel thought for a moment. Sebastian didn't sound too apologetic, but then, he'd said he never lies. "I'll forgive you," Ciel decided. "But just 'cause I don't want you to mope around."

Sebastian smiled his signature smile. "I am forever grateful for your forgiveness, however I assure you my abilities would not be affected by me, as you say, 'moping around.'"

"But you would continue to nag me about forgiving you," Ciel countered.

"How are you so sure of what I would do?"

"Sebastian," Ciel said sternly, looking up at the butler's smiling face. "Realistically."

"My lord," Sebastian said softly, genuinely sounding confused. "I'm not entirely sure of what you mean. To be a butler means performing to the best of my abilities."

"Sebastian," Ciel hissed, turning back to let his chin rest on the wood of the desk. "I'm not a butler. I have no idea what you mean."

"I am aware you are not a butler, sir," Sebastian straightened and looked forward. "What I mean is that I am obligated to work as best I can no matter how I feel or whether or not I mope around."

So he was claiming he never got distracted, eh? Ciel swiftly turned his neck to stare holes into his butler's head. "Cats?" he stated. "They seem to distract you."

Sebastian was taken off guard. He hadn't expected that. Well, he never lied and it wasn't like it would change anything anyway so he said, "For good reason, sir...and, in my defense, I do try to control myself..." As hard as it was, he did.

"It's why we can't get one, Sebastian," Ciel muttered.

Sebastian found a wave of desperation rush through him. He knew this conversation was long overdue, and it was worth a shot. "But...but...young master, /please?/" It was low, but he would sink low enough to beg if it were a cat he was begging for.

"Sebastian, no! We've been over this!"

"I know you have allergies but we could just...keep it in the closet or something! Or the gardens!" Sebastian used his first tactic: bringing someone more vulnerable into this. "I bet Finny would love a cat!"

Ciel scoffed, his expression turning to one of annoyance. "Doesn't he have that dog...human...thing?"

Sebastian looked away. "Well, yes, he has Pluto..."

"I'm sure Pluto has soft enough paws that would satisfy your need," Ciel said simply, referring to the 'soft paws' incident a while back.

"But whenever he sees me he goes human and pesters me!" Sebastian argued.

"Sebastian, no."

To Ciel's surprise, Sebastian moved from behind him to right in front of him. He put his elbows on the desk and rested his head in his hands, giving Ciel puppy dog eyes. Ciel had never been affected by such things, and he wasn't now...even if, although he would never admit it, his butler was very good at it.

"Sebastian, really," he said. "You are being pathetic."

The puppy dog eyes just got bigger and cuter. Wait, what?

"You are better than this," Ciel stated, trying to get his previous thought out of his head.

"As flattered as I am to know that, young master, my request still stands," Sebastian replied, no longer trying the puppy eyes.

"I'm stomping on it," came the retort that Sebastian could have sworn had a hint of triumph.

"But..."

"Sebastian, aren't you supposed to be the bigger person, here?"

"I am a servant," the butler said, standing straight. "/You/ are the master, therefore you have a higher rank, therefore you are the bigger man." Sebastian didn't like saying this, as it was not helping his side of the argument, but he never lied.

"Then I say no cat," Ciel replied.

Sebastian used tactic number 2: guilt trip. "Master, I have been nothing but loyal! Maybe as a thank you gift? ...You never give me much recognition as it is."

Nothing guilted Ciel into anything. "You're doing a good job, Sebastian," he said sharply. "Keep it up."

Well it was better than nothing. "Ah...thank you, young master."

Ciel decided he needed a little alone time away from everyone and this conversation was giving him a headache, to say the least. "You are dismissed, Sebastian."

He received a pleading look, to which he did not respond to, and a "yes, my lord" before he was finally alone. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he just needed out of this mansion.

...

Sebastian was cleaning the windows when he heard the manor door open. He knew Ciel had taken a small walk outside and probably down the road a bit. The contract mark alerted him to such. He decided that unless he sensed real danger, he would let the boy have his space. But the conversation from earlier still ran through his mind. He approached the boy, who looked a bit shaken up but not injured.

"...have you rethought your answer...?" he asked timidly.

"No, Sebastian," Ciel snarled. "But I just got done wrestling a cow! Where were you?!"

...A cow? "You did not call for me, my lord."

"It was implied," Ciel muttered, eyes growing dark.

"Well that would explain the tug I felt on the contract mark on my hand," Sebastian said, recalling the feeling he'd had about ten minutes ago. He bowed low to the ground in front of the boy after he had accompanied him back to his office. "I sincerely apologize for not coming to your aid, young master. This has been the second time I have slipped up. Am I correct in assuming that the prospect of a cat is dimming, even considering the one I have in the-...I mean...um..."

Oh, no. Nice going, Sebastian.

Ciel gave him a long, hard glare. "I will force you to execute it if you don't get it out now."

Sebastian took a step back. He tried to stay calm. "My lord, you are merciless but not heartless. You wouldn't..." But he faltered. ...Maybe his master would...

"Get. It. Out."

Sebastian tried to come with a counter attack, but knew there was nothing he could say. He was Ciel's demon butler and therefore had to fulfill Ciel's every wish. "I...you...yes, my lord..."

"Thank you."

Wow. Recognition. Little did Ciel know, but Sebastian had been carrying a black kitten in the inside pocket of his tailcoat. It had fit perfectly. He took it out and cradled it, using tactic 3: sympathy. "I am sorry," he said to it softly. "I have no choice..."

Ciel had an unreadable expression. "It...uh...it will be okay..."

At least he had stumbled. Sebastian knew this tactic had an advantage. He snuggled into the fur with his face.

"You'll have to wash your face," Ciel growled. Okay, so no advantage. Well, he'd tried. He kissed her nose gently. Ciel looked incredibly disgusted, and when Sebastian saw he said, "Master, don't look so disgusted. She is a cat and needs love. Just like y-...uh..." Come on, Sebastian! Get it together!

Ciel's face became even more unreadable. "Just...go," he mumbled softly.

"You seem hesitant, my lord,"

"Leave and take the cat, and when you return, don't have the cat." Ciel's face was stoic as ever, back to it's famous scowl.

"Very well, sir." Sebastian walked to the door, still cradling the cat in his arms, and stopped at the doorway, looking back. "Master...?"

Ciel looked up, slightly annoyed with his allergies beginning to act up. "What, Sebastian?"

Sebastian looked uncertain at first, but then smiled gently. "Please...forgive me for my...slip up earlier. All I meant was that you are simply a child." The butler knew this would probably upset his master, but he gave that thought no attention. "You lost your parents, your home, your dog; everything. Deny it all you wish, but I see in your eyes sometimes that you are lost. All i wish to do is offer you what little comfort I am capable of in hopes that you soon see that I will protect you...and I will never leave you."

Ciel was silent for a moment. Then, "get rid of the cat."

Sebastian's smile fell slightly, but, as he had to, he responded, "Yes, young master. Just...heed what I have said."

"Very well." Ciel's face had not changed.

Sebastian began to argue. "You-..." But he realized it would be futile. This was Ciel Phantomhive, and he wouldn't be coddled by anyone. "Alright." He walked out and closed the door behind him, leaning up against the wall and sighing when he believed to be out of earshot.

"I heard that," was what came through the door.

The kitten in Sebastian's arms meowed slightly, and Sebastian realized it was still in his arms. He'd gotten so caught up in the argument he'd almost forgotten about it entirely. This also meant that, if something could slip past Sebastian, it slipped past Ciel as well. But, unfortunately, the boy had heard the cry.

"SEBASTIAN!!"

"I was hoping you would forget!" Sebastian called back.

"Within a half hour?!" came the aggravated response. "Get it out! That's an order!!"

Sebastian knew he had no choice. "Yes, my lord." He went to the door and reluctantly set the cat outside, then proceeding to return to his master's office. Ciel was giving him a pleading look.

"Please..." he muttered. "And I said 'please.' Stop going against my orders and bringing cats onto manor property."

Sebastian was surprised. "Goodness," he said. "You actually said 'please.' I didn't think it was possible..." He grinned, which made Ciel's eye grow dark with annoyance and fury. "I shall try my absolute best to refrain from obtaining any more cats, sir; and remember, I do not lie."

"You will do as I say."

"That is what I promised when our contract was made."

"Then do it."

Sebastian was slightly confused. "I got the cat out. Did I not follow your order to the letter?"

Ciel huffed. "You said you would 'try your absolute best.' I'm telling you to do it."

"But...I did..." Sebastian replied, growing slightly worried.

"Don't bring anymore in."

This was not turning out as expected. Sebastian had a thought nagging at him in the back of his mind. "Y-yes, sir..."

Ciel seemed to see right through his acceptance of the order and read that little thought. "I swear," he snarled. "Do you have any more cats in your closet?"

Sebastian answered with his "no" a bit too quickly, for indeed he did. "No, I don't. Of course I don't," he followed.

Ciel stood and stared at him. "Sebastian," he said in a low tone. "Are you fibbing?"

"No, master. I am not 'fibbing.'" Ciel had to keep in mind that the butler did not lie. But lying and fibbing were two different things. Ciel continued to stare at him. "I'm not!" Sebastian said again, trying to convince his young master.

"You are dismissed," Ciel said suddenly, sitting back down to his work.

"Yes, sir." Sebastian made his way to his room but he could have sworn he was being followed. He locked his door behind him and made his way to the closet, hoping Ciel hadn't been the one following him.

"Sebastian?"

Ciel's voice was right outside the servant's door. Crap. The butler quickly closed the closet doors. "Master?"

"Sebastian, why is your door locked?!"

"Am I not entitled to a bit of privacy?!" Sebastian called back.

"Not when I was clearly walking behind you trying to get your attention! Open the door, Sebastian!!"

Now he was screwed. "Yes, sir..." A soft click, muffled "hush now" and hesitant footsteps were heard before Sebastian opened the door to a very perturbed looking Ciel. Said boy barged into the room without a second thought and marched straight for the closet.

Sebastian was instantly worried for his allergies. "Young master, don't-!"

But it was too late. Ciel opened the closet door and was immediately bombarded with a multitude of different cats. "S-S-S-SEBASTIAN!!"

"I warned you," Sebastian whispered.

"YOU LIED TO ME!!"

"I do not lie!!" the butler countered. He had fibbed, not lied. Remember: difference.

"What - is this?!" Ciel's sentence was interrupted by a sneeze.

"Master! Your allergies!" Sebstian cried. "I told you not to look and perhaps this will teach you a lesson about barging into peoples' rooms."

Everything Ciel said was punctuated by a sneeze which was only made worse by the cats rubbing against his legs. "*sneeze* Se... *sneeze* Sebas-tian... *sneeze*"

Sebastian grabbed ahold of the weak boy, holding him up. "Sir, come. Let's go back to your room. You cannot stay here!"

"*sneeze* You ca- *sneeze* you can stay- *sneeze followed by wheezing*"

"Young master," Sebastian hissed, becoming angry by the fact that Ciel was not able to stand, let alone walk to his room. By now the butler had pushed the cats away so as not to cause more harm to the boy. "You can't even walk! I'm carrying you to your room and there's nothing you can do or say!"

"I- *sneeze* would rather- *wheeze* crawl-..." Ciel continued to sneeze and his breathing became labored as he attempted to crawl toward the door.

Sebastian was having none of this. He took hold of Ciel's shirt collar and pulled him into his arms, carrying him bridal style. "Please do not argue," he said. "You are in no state to do so."

"S-S-S-Sebastian..." Ciel whimpered, his voice terrifyingly weak.

"We're almost to your room, my lord," the butler assured. "Oh, why did you do that?"

"Why did YOU do that?" Ciel whispered back.

"I will explain after you lie down and rest," Sebastian replied.

Ciel slumped into bed as Sebastian covered him with the covers. Sure he hadn't had his bath yet, but he couldn't have cared less. He was feeling too awful. "Okay," he said quietly. "Goodnight, Sebastian."

Sebastian made his way to the door, looking back once more at his master.

"Goodnight, young master."


End file.
